Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Randomize
