Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
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I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
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He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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