Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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