oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
