Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
