Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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