Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
