4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
