worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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