don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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