I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
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I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
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I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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