when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize