I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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