you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
