Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i love accidental penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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