How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
