I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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