Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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