So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
