haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
