Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
