I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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