Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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