6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
