you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
