dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
