he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
