I am spending my child support on dildos
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
