Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
