You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
