wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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