I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Non-Jews are for practice
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
