I cockslap morals
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
