Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
