I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
