Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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