I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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