That's intense
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
