What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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