im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
