gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize