Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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