FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
