He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
