very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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