We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
