He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
