Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
