david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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