i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Boobs are out for the taking
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
