I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
