U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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