Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
honey bunches of taint.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
