last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
