I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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