is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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