if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize