Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
