i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
