when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Your dad touched me again.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
