I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
that's an acceptable place to lick
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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