Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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