Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize