That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
