Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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