Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
